I like raccoons. Raccoons are cute (That’s right, furries: It’s possible to find an animal cute without wanting to fuck it). As such, I also like pictures of cute raccoons which show cute raccoons being cute, like this one:
This article is not about these pictures.
I did some kind of test, which ended up becoming a sort of experiment in torture: I typed “raccoon” into the DeviantArt search bar. The results were horrendous. I’d like to show you them.
Raccoon In A Bikini by ~hollyann
Oh, look; it’s a raccoon in a bikini. The only good thing about this picture is that it doesn’t show an actual raccoon wearing a bikini.
A Raccoon by ~minnagowaseiryuu
What are the artist’s thoughts about his nightmarish piece of cookie-cutter inflation art?
Raccoons make good balloons *giggle*
MINNAGOWASEIRYUU, YOU SICK CYNICAL BASTARD.
Raccoon Kombat by ~FriskyWoods
We’ve moved from one fetish to another. Why is there a green raccoon? And WHY THE FUCK DO THEY WEAR DIAPERS? Not to mention that the joke is unfunny, and the distinct lack of “kombat”.
Remember: I found these pictures by simply searching “Raccoon” on DeviantArt.
Raccoon by *WereKatt
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
But seriously; her “head” looks completely deformed due to the horrible photomontage. Her eyes and mouth are aslope in comparison to the “nose”, and the “ears” are completely misplaced. Fuck you WereKatt, and fuck this awful Photoshopped abomination.
Ristin Raccoon by ~ozkangaroo
Of course furries have to ruin everything. This… I’m guessing, “guy”? He looks like he’s eating out of a trash can, so he associates with the “real raccoon environment” – despite the fact that he’s standing on two feet. The creator of the fursuit also takes fursuit commissions with a price of “$1300 – $2000″. What the fuck? Well, with such a price I guess the guy wearing this fursuit has been already punished.
Bottom line: Fuck furries.
Oh my god, I have been reading this, on how many different platforms is weregrinch taking on the net? I was getting a few laughs, but still, it’s actually a bit disturbing. Most worrying for me is the young girl who appears in all his “professional makeup” deviations. Will she be safe? I mean, if he “transforms” when all this gets too much for him… Hmmm. I remember adding the guy just because i read a couple of totally non-were related posts and added him because he is a 30-something and I don’t run into them too often on dA. Anyway, I think I might just keep him in my watch, if he shows signs of truly coming undone I’m taking the first flight to NZ to rescue his makeup slave.
Oh, and that raccoon manip made mespit on the screen with laughter, SO bad.
@Ratty
She’s not my slave alright, she’s a friend of mine. Don’t believe everything you read on here. And that racoon manip was not so bad, it’s actually kinda cute.
@Nathan Theodore Gabrell
Listen, I don’t know what you are and the other dickheads on this site think, but i’m NOT a werejohncandy – i’m a weregrinch. And another thing, your name is just a bad parody of my own name.
Before my time is done here, i’ll look down on your corpses and smile.
@Nathan Theodore Gabrell
“Okay nathan now I know you ain’t a Weregrinch and not just because there is not such as any creature with “were” in front of its name, but WERE GRINCHES DON”T GROWL YOU BUTT PLUG. I knew you were a werejohncandy all along”
I’m not a werejohncandy and i never was you fucking asshole, and weregrinches do exist and they growl so STFU – anyway, you’re just a poor rip-off my me and clearly your name is a bad parody of mine.