I like raccoons. Raccoons are cute (That’s right, furries: It’s possible to find an animal cute without wanting to fuck it). As such, I also like pictures of cute raccoons which show cute raccoons being cute, like this one:
This article is not about these pictures.
I did some kind of test, which ended up becoming a sort of experiment in torture: I typed “raccoon” into the DeviantArt search bar. The results were horrendous. I’d like to show you them.
Raccoon In A Bikini by ~hollyann
Oh, look; it’s a raccoon in a bikini. The only good thing about this picture is that it doesn’t show an actual raccoon wearing a bikini.
A Raccoon by ~minnagowaseiryuu
What are the artist’s thoughts about his nightmarish piece of cookie-cutter inflation art?
Raccoons make good balloons *giggle*
MINNAGOWASEIRYUU, YOU SICK CYNICAL BASTARD.
Raccoon Kombat by ~FriskyWoods
We’ve moved from one fetish to another. Why is there a green raccoon? And WHY THE FUCK DO THEY WEAR DIAPERS? Not to mention that the joke is unfunny, and the distinct lack of “kombat”.
Remember: I found these pictures by simply searching “Raccoon” on DeviantArt.
Raccoon by *WereKatt
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
But seriously; her “head” looks completely deformed due to the horrible photomontage. Her eyes and mouth are aslope in comparison to the “nose”, and the “ears” are completely misplaced. Fuck you WereKatt, and fuck this awful Photoshopped abomination.
Ristin Raccoon by ~ozkangaroo
Of course furries have to ruin everything. This… I’m guessing, “guy”? He looks like he’s eating out of a trash can, so he associates with the “real raccoon environment” – despite the fact that he’s standing on two feet. The creator of the fursuit also takes fursuit commissions with a price of “$1300 – $2000″. What the fuck? Well, with such a price I guess the guy wearing this fursuit has been already punished.
Bottom line: Fuck furries.
Unless you want to turn this into one of those American Idol type reality shows..
Fucking moron.
Knock it off, I know it’s you who’s been creating those bad me knock-offs. You and Habermann are after me.
Nice of you to assume that everyone on here who is using the name anon is the same fucking person you jackass. If that were the case, then how the fuck could people be impersonating you?
Try harder, you dumb bitch.
Oh really?
YA RLY.
Again with the bad impersonations. Sheesh.
Guys, just so you know… I’m a troll. Of course you all already figured that out, as nobody can honestly be so deluded without a serious mental illness and/or the use of strong drugs to believe themselves to be a weregrinch. And a werejohncandy? That’s just beyond goofy. I apologize for my behavior, but this has been far too amusing for me over the past month or so.
In the words of the dolphins, so long and thanks for all the fish.
@Nathan F
Look I know you’re not me, so you’re just another bad impersonation or just Anon trying to mess with my mind.
@Nathan F
Okay, now I’m starting to think that you’re a troll who is hellbent on not letting this die. Come on, man. I just confessed. It’s all over. We had our fun, now let’s move on. Alright? I’m so sick of dragging this childish farce out. Everybody knows better. Hell, my ‘artwork’ was by no means convincing. Honestly, I was drunk when I slapped most of those together. Just let it go.
@Nathan F
No you didn’t. Actually you and your so called brothers on here are the trolls, i am the poor innocent bystander who’s been frequently made the butt of the joke by both Rents and Habermann.
look guys, i am the REAL Nathan F, all these wannabes are not the real me, i have been trolled to death here thanks to Rents, Habermann and the sick bastards at Encyclopedia Dramatica.
Please understand that while my work is a little standoffish, i do my best and that’s all that matters – sure i am no picasso or even rambrant – but remember rome was not built in a day.
@Nathan F
Whatever. You’re the impostor here, man. Just let this crap go. I’ve already admitted that this was just a joke. You know what, though? If you’re really still that bored, then keep on posting here, man. I’ll just let you keep on pretending. I’m done with this, though. Have fun, phony.
Last time I checked i am the real Nathan F, you are the imposter as are all the others. And i really am a weregrinch. Obviously Habermann is trying to fuck with my mind. He’s always doing this and so is Rents.
I have access to people’s IP addresses on this site when they post, and from the looks of things Nathan has gone completely insane.
Both of these Nathans are posting from the same IP address.
I assure you that i have not gone insane. Some one must have hacked into my computer system.
@Hobomberguy
DUN DUN DUN
It’s too much effort for a troll to post like 3 times a day on his shitty blog and all those shitty drawings on the deviant art page. I mean that is john doe se7en type dedication.
“Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? An obese man… a disgusting man who could barely do stand-up; a man who if you saw him on the street, you’d point him out to your friends so that they could join you in mocking him; a man, who if you saw him while you were eating, you wouldn’t be able to finish your meal. After him, I picked the furries and I know you both (habbermann and hbomberguy) must have been secretly thanking me for that one. These are manchilds who dedicated their life (if you can call it that) to keeping animal rapists on the streets!
A woman… so ugly on the inside she only posts pictures of dollies. A austistic girl, or a 38 year old pederast, actually! And let’s not forget the disease-spreading whore (Nathan’s mum)! Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people and keep a straight face. But that’s the point. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it’s common, it’s trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon, and night. Well, not anymore. I’m setting the example. What I’ve done is going to be puzzled over and studied and followed on ED … forever. ”
So yeah, I’m going with nathan being batshit insane rather than a troll.
Should be “so ugly on the outside”. Can u edit that hbomberguy?
Also “We see a deadly sin on deviant art page, in every forum,”
I could of told you that squire.
I guess the other explanation for the same ip is someone in nathan’s house (parent?) enjoys mocking him.
@hbomberguy nah. him going completely insane now makes it sound like he wasn’t insane in the first place. I think it’s him, vying for attention again.
Like what am I? In the twilight zone here?
@nathan f no one’s buying that.
Oh no, i’m in one of those nightmares in which i can’t use my grinch powers to escape. Help!
@hbomb
You’ve done it. This article pushed a mentally challenged werefurry to the true brink of insanity (although she wasn’t far from it to begin with). Good thing Nathan ’s completely harmless, or i’d be kinda worried right about now…
@anon
I think you meant ugly inside and out.
@anon (the one asking me to edit posts)
Only the creator of the specific article can edit stuff I believe, and Habermann’s in charge on this one.
hbomberguy: it doesn’t matter it’ll only get buried by a pages of nathan saying “I’m a weregrinch not a werejohncandy – that’s why I paint my penis green!”
Hmm…
*smirks*
@Nathan F
As a ‘writer’ (term used loosely) myself, I’m both disgusted and intriqued by your story, in which you theorise that no-one goes on METOKUR beside me or Habermann. In fact several anonymous posters and parodies of you (only one of which is me), and several other posters going by other names.
For some reason, the deadly torture you put your representation of me through in your story has inspired me to write a story of my own. Expect it coming to a METOKUR near you someitme soon.
I doubt little Nate sees the irony behind pretending this isn’t affecting him while going out of the way to post here hundreds of times at all times of the day, while simultaneousy writing angry revenge stories about the people who SUPPOSEDLY aren’t affecting him. Either he’s doing this at work, or he doesn’t have a job.
@HBomberguy
Well well well, yes i am doing this at work.
@Nathan F
I weep for whatever company would be foolish enough to hire you. I only hope that I never purchase one of their products, as it would be full of semen and donut chunks.
@shplane oh god. you make me laugh to myself. i bet he works at olive garden.
@Velociraptor
Yeah, the jackoff pretending to be me probably is pulling some crappy job like that. I just popped in to see what is going on here, despite telling myself I wouldn’t. God, he’s still at it, isn’t he? I can’t believe someone is so attatched to keeping an obvious troll routine alive. Whatever, though. If he wants to keep it up, all I can say is the dude needs a hobby.
@nathan f (the real one) no, we were talking about YOU. I bet YOU work at olive garden. oh god, I honestly can’t tell which is which, the other is getting so good. I think the whole clone thing is pretty funny, actually. also, WHY are you HERE? I thought you said you hated this site. and yet you are here, vying for attention again.
@Shplane
Oh no, i’m quite a versatile actor and any product i endorse would NOT be filled with semen, in fact it would be award winning and groundbreaking.
Nathan your dad fills you with semen right? That’s why you construct these fantasies right? If you could turn into a fat wolf comedian at night he wouldn’t rape you. If you were an actor you could move out. You pretend to be your mommy because she isn’t around to stop your daddy in real life.
There are help lines you can call, police and welfare agents that can help you. Please deal with your shit instead of spamming the internetz.
@Anonymous
I did not need any criticism from you, you’ve caused enough trouble.
sorry nafan does your dad rape you harder because i criticised him?
Yes! ;(
@werejohncandy
Actor? fffffftttttt riiiight.
Trolls are better actors than you. Shouldn’t an actor be able to realize that there’s more than one anon, and that it’s not just habermann and hbomb posting? Or at the very least, be able to post his family and make it sound slightly believable?
@Velociraptor
I thought he was an obvious troll at first too, but then again… I used to think the same thing about Chris-chan and he’s the real deal.
and is it in the vagina?
(I think we’re finally making some progress!)
@Mishi
That was not me.
Enough with the dumb questions anonymous.
Sorry typo I meant I’m too dumb to answer questions anonymous.
AAAAANNNOYMNOUS!
KHANNNNNNNNNNNNN~!
Sorry Torrets, one of my many mental health issues.
Ignore this poor excuse for a wannabe, i don’t have mental issues and i certainly do not have torrettes.