A recent survey which doesn’t actually exist recently showed that the guitar is the most popular instrument of all time, with second and third place going to the electric ocarina and toy xylophone. With the popularity of the guitar at it’s peak thanks to video games such as “Guitar Hero” and “Guitar Hero: Aerosmith Edition”, things can only go downhill for the “fad” instrument from here, and it will soon fade into obscurity. In the meantime, we have to put up with shitty deviantART submissions featuring the stringed noise-maker.

clemintine and me by ~animaniac323

A pretty good rule of thumb for picking the background of a drawing is to choose a different color than the one used to outline the subject matter. Furthermore, black outline around a black-bodied guitar is just asking for trouble. Speaking of trouble, it looks like the artist ran into a bit of it trying to keep the lines of the neck and the strings straight, leaving us with a hilariously misshapen heap of 4-stringed shit (Despite the fact that there should be 6 strings, as indicated by the tuning keys). It is an awkwardly shaped guitar fit for the awkwardly shaped subject character who, tragically, was born without hips and with one leg far larger than the other.

Bonnie Rocks – colored by *Jeepika

This piece is actually a colorized version of a submission by another artist. However, I decided to complain about this colored piece, because I am confounded by the fact that someone actually took the time to fill in the blank space of this uninspired piece of line art shit.

Look at that gigantic hair: It looks like someone tore open an oversized basketball and stapled it to the top of this miserable broad-shouldered bitch. There is something horribly wrong with the proportion and placement of her breasts, as indicated by the large gap in her cleavage. Add to that hideously misshapen legs and horrible joints, and it’s a wonder this poor girl can keep her balance standing up let alone play her impractically long-necked guitar. Yet, despite all this, she manages to keep a smile on her grotesque face. Inspiring.

PAUL by ~KasheekOfSparta

You can argue that the character’s decidedly slender figure is “stylistic”. That’s fair enough. You can argue that his seemingly oversized left fist is due to the piece’s perspective. There’s a valid argument for that. What cannot be excused or explained away is the obnoxious, unfunny, single non sequitur line of dialogue, which has nothing to do with the rest of the picture at all. Unless that’s supposed to be a poorly-drawn baby he’s crushing in his hand, which it very well might be, since I can’t think of anything else it seems to resemble.

As long as we’re paying attention to the guitars in these pieces (Something this artist probably hoped we wouldn’t do), I’m pretty sure that isn’t the right way to use a guitar strap. Then again, what do I know? “PAUL” here is clearly a master of guitars [and infanticide].

just the two of us by ~Dogma353

Alternate Title: “just the two of us, because nobody else is willing to put up with me”

What’s the point of learning the guitar if you have nobody to play it for? For Dogma353, it’s all about the companionship between her and her musical instrument. Sadly enough, it took visiting the submitter’s profile to figure out that we are, in fact, looking at a girl in this photograph. When you come across as androgynous as this, you really can’t afford to go with the goth look: Painting your fingernails and dying your hair is quickly negated by pentagram medallions and all-black attire. At this point, you might as well just slap a sticker on your back that says “I can be either gender you want me to be. My guitar is my only friend. Please fuck me.”

Mick Mars by ~JCRipley

Question: How do you make Mick Mars, lead guitarist of Mötley Crüe, more cool than he already is?
Answer: Invert a photograph of his ankylosing spondylitis-afflicted ass, while he isn’t even playing his guitar!

Yes folks: Submitter JCRipley has found it fit to use the invert tool for nearly every fucking submission he has made to deviantART. That’s certainly one way to claim your works as “Original Content”. Of all the photos JCRipley could have “worked his magic” on, he had to pick one where Mars isn’t even playing his instrument? Let’s face it: Rock and roll is ruined.

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: The obligatory “picture so bad, there are no words for it”.

the out of tune guitar by ~Ranger-Akimbo-FTW

Rock on, guys and gals. Peace, love, and power to the working class.