There isn’t much respect for “edgy art” on the mainstream circuit. To casual art fans, the ideas of enema painting or jacking off onto paper and calling it a completed piece seem to be ridiculous extremes to take, even for the sake of “expression.” Surprise surprise: The mainstream might be onto something for once. But until the alternative art scene is willing to accept that the majority can occasionally be right, we’re stuck with “edgy for the sake of edge” bullshit like blood art.

“What could blood art possibly be”, you may ask? Well, I figured it was quite self-explanatory, but since I’ve got an article to pad out here, I’ll indulge you just this once. Blood art is when an artist chooses to forgo paints and pencils and use their own blood (Or an external reserve) to paint their pieces. It almost seems tame compared to that aforementioned enema painting, doesn’t it? Perhaps the most popular figure to emerge from the blood art scene is Jack Crowley, the appropriately proclaimed “Blood Artist” (Who just recently uploaded his works to deviantART). For what it’s worth, Crowley’s art isn’t completely awful, despite consisting almost entirely of portrait pieces.

Today’s tartlet, however, seems to take major offense to Crowley’s work. Not because he finds the method disturbing, mind you; but because he doesn’t think Crowley’s got big enough balls. I-am-Orange-Socks claims that he is the first true blood artist, and that Crowley is nothing more than a coward of a hack. From his dA journal:

Casey the blood artist, alias Jack Crowley is considered by many to be the first blood artist. While we appear to have much in common, “Casey the blood artist” is my mortal enemy, the childish bastard believes that I am a “17 year old fag emo kid” and that I should kill myself

Very impolite, he blocked me from his deviant page and proceeded to plaster mine with various profanities (ranging from “go suck a salted dick and die” to “kill yourself and your family”).

He uses the blood of rattlesnakes, other people and when he does use his own blood he has it taken out with a needle by a nurse. I pointed out that this was weak, real men use knives, use their own blood and toughen up to the pain of the blade, not needles like the ones children are given so that they don’t catch colds.

He didn’t like that very much, so he has made it a point to insult me for his own simple amusement and pleasure. Casey, I am the first true blood artist.

Them’s fightin’ words if I ever heard ‘em! Orange-Socks goes on in his entry to state his admiration for women who use their menstrual blood as their medium, that he is “certainly no emo,” and that he does not paint in this way for the attention. We’ll come back to this point later. But first, Orange-Socks was so kind as to provide a guide on how he collects his blood for his art, which should warrant a read.

Preparation by ~I-am-Orange-Socks

It starts the same way as oh-so-many crazy party nights, with a sharp knife, a jar of fresh water, and a handful of tissues. Orange-Socks stresses the health element in the description of this piece, warning against the use of powersaws to open wounds as if anybody could possibly be retarded enough to contemplate doing so, and using three exclamation marks to stress the importance of “always have fresh water!!!” He references a pre-drawn pencil piece off-screen that he “couldn’t be bothered to include” since it “has nothing to actually do with the bleeding.” Actually, wouldn’t it have everything to do with why you’re bleeding?

Scars of blood art by ~I-am-Orange-Socks

Next, we move on to the all-important “showing off” part of the tutorial, in which Orange-Socks shows off his scars. You know, as bad-ass as having scars can look (Besides getting the ladies wet as the journal of Personality and Individual Differences claims), they’re decidedly less impressive when you know that their victim sculpted them him or herself. Orange-Socks is considering carving a spiders web or the iron cross into his skin so his own body can become “art.” Laughably enough, a paragraph later, he takes two steps back and advocates “cutting somewhere where it’s not too noticeable,” indicating that “most people tend to think you’re suicidal if they see what you’re doing.” You heard that, folks? The next time you see some lanky kid dressed in all black with hair in front of his eyes and scars on his wrists, ask him if he’s into blood art before you start drawing conclusions!

First cuts, and applying by ~I-am-Orange-Socks

We finally reach the “open wound” section of the tutorial, in which Orange-Socks instructs his readers on how to open a wound and get the blood flowi- Hold on just a moment folks. I’m being told that posting images of self-harm in progress are against deviantART’s code of conduct? And apparently, instructing potential kids on how to cut themselves is dangerously reckless and stupid? Who would have guessed!? Apparently, not Orange-Socks, as commenters on the piece had to step in to explain the obvious to him, as well as to attempt to discourage him from his line of stupidity. Luckily, silly things like “rules” and “reckless endangerment” have never stopped us, so up the picture shall stay on here!

Over a series of 4 more photos (1, 2, 3, 4), Orange-Socks documents how to apply your newly liberated blood to a decidedly boring sketch of a river. 3 to 4 layers should do the trick nicely, apparently. Shove it, proper paint! As a bonus he includes a photo of himself modeling an oddly non-orange sock and showing off his scars again, before explaining how to clean up after your mess. The latter “Clean up and finish” submission includes a rather entertaining quote which falls squarely under the “Geez, you think?” category.

4. Don’t tell people you’re doing blood art. I’ve lost friends over this (didn’t really lose them, they just think I’m a freak and don’t talk to me much anymore), while true friends stick with you through these things, you may lose people who matter to you.

With that amusing glimpse into his disintegrating social life, the tutorial is complete. And we should theoretically be better artists for it I suppose? To be fair to dA here, the general user populace is bright enough to never try anything this stupid and dangerous (Though just barely bright enough to remember to breath), and it’s doubtful this tutorial will ever end up being used by anyone as anything more than laugh or shock material.

So, for all this trouble and claiming that he manages to top the likes of Crowley, what art does Orange-Socks have to show for his suffering? 3 pieces, as of this moment in time. Actually, it’s more like 2 and 1/2, and here they are!

Freedom’s vice by ~I-am-Orange-Socks

Materials: Human blood, Indian ink

[...] Continuing with ideas of rights abuse, capitalism, corporate greed, etc, etc.

First up is this decidedly disappointing display! This is what all the fuss is about? Orange-Socks can’t even paint between the lines for crissakes! Is he woozy from the blood loss when he paints or what? Other than the fact it amounts to little more than a child’s doodle of a skull and ornate hat, could he possibly have chosen a more generic concept to express? Surprise surprise folks: He’s anti-government! Just like every other pimple-faced teenage shitheel with a Green Day t-shirt and no real-world experience with the horrors of a world without government. As if it that all wasn’t enough, he even uploaded a second take of this picture with some extra charcoal fuckery for good measure.

Virgin tears w charcoal by ~I-am-Orange-Socks

An oversized poorly detailed eye crying blood? This is as bland as bland can be, folks. This is the very bottom of the barrel concept-wise. The fact the blood in the piece is actual blood adds NOTHING to it, other than poor filling effect and a rusty smell! This is where the whole blood art concept falls apart: Blood was never intended as some kind of alternative to proper paint. Blood is intended to circulate nutrients and oxygen throughout a body, not constrast charcoal in some kindergarten-grade sketchbook page.

Which brings us back to the topic of what blood art is good for, and why anyone would choose to use it as a medium. Let’s let Jack Crowley sum it up, shall we?

Q: Give a brief history of where you got the idea come to create the form of art you are doing ?

A: I got the idea in college back in 1995, after going to museums and looking at endless amounts of shitty “art”. (I’m referring to hacks like Jackson Pollock that get drunk and throw paint over their shoulder onto a canvas and call it art). Nobody is doing anything original or unique at all, so I figured that painting with blood would be both original and shocking. Also,I like seeing people get shocked and revolted, yet still say it’s good.

What’s that? It’s all for shock value? Well, isn’t that a shocker in itself! The fact of the matter is, blood isn’t as reliable or efficient as red paint, and I’ll be damned if you can paint anything other than shades of red and brown with it without mixing in proper coloring or dye. It’s a bid for attention, which is fine if you’re willing to admit it, but just makes you look like a pretentious shit-eating smug fuck when you repeatedly claim it’s about “expression.” And let me tell you folks: You’ll be hard-pressed to dig up anything more pretentious and smug than lines like this, taken from that previously quoted first journal entry by Orange-Socks:

Some have asked “Are you saying that you’re a dead woman thrown in a ditch wearing only orange socks”
I reply “Why of course my literal oaf of a friend, that is entirely my intention. You fucking piece of shit, why would you want to live if you’re so fucking stupid?!”

What I mean is, I am Orange Socks, I am nobody, I have no identity, no name, I am nothing.
If I am nothing, I am everything.
If I am everything, I am omnipotent.
If I am omnipotent, I am God.

Ergo, Orange Socks is God. Not literally of course, God delusions and other miscellaneous misconceptions/hallucinations of power are for the weak willed unable to accept their situations in life.

It’s reaffirming to know that behind the desperate pleas for attention which he claims to be anything but, and underneath all the scars, there’s a genuine fucking waste of a human being beneath it all. Overly dramatic, hilariously defensive, laughably arrogant, and thoroughly untalented. In short, utterly worthless for little more than our own entertainment. Though, it’s a bit sad when the best thing that could possibly happen for a kid like this is for him to accidentally open up an artery, wake up in a hospital, and be forced to get the help he’s deluded himself into believing he doesn’t need.