Have you ever tried being stealthy in flip-flops? It’s fucking impossible. I guess it’s lucky for this serial killer that, in his alternate dimension, there is no sound save for a cheesy, tinny, ten second “horror” loop. You could probably go around shooting people without a silencer in the middle of the fucking day, and nobody would be none the wiser. Man: This alternate dimensions kicks ass. Send me through, NASA!

Commentary by Habermann

Remember that this original video scored a 100 in the original submitter’s film class. So, obviously, it is beyond criticism, as it is perfect in every way. This commentary exists only in another alternate dimension, in which the project failed like the bland, boring, uninspired piece of trash it is.

In the not-too-distant future, smoking will be a crime punishable by death. Also, fucking 300 references will still be totally relevant, and airsoft guns will be made lethal legally. Forget Mad Max: This future is fucking terrifying.

Commentary by Habermann

Light up with the original video. Literally, light up with it: Set fire to the fucking thing and use it to light your cigarette.

I don’t have any funny comments for you here in the video description. Not this time around, anyway. I’ll go on the record as saying this is probably the best commentary we’ve done in a while, and probably one of my personal favorites to date. I ended up sitting on it for about a week after we recorded it before I actually got around to editing it; a crime for which I blame the release of Modern Warfare 2. On the METOKUR Forums, we joke about Fanskit Fiesta commentaries being of a lesser quality than Films For the Fustilarian, and that commentary over cosplay lends itself to humor less than general short films. This commentary should hopefully prove that awful cosplay and terrible fanskits are just as worthy of mockery as any shitty short film or crap comedy sketch.

Commentary by Habermann, ddrfreek, and OldIronGiants

If you really want to go ahead and watch the original video, you are either a weeaboo with a hard-on for Kingdom Hearts, or you want to watch Batman being really fucking creepy again. If you’re looking forward to the latter, go ahead and skip to 3 minutes and 4 seconds into the video, and save yourself the hell of having to watch the fucking skit again.

Here’s a bonus commentary for you guys this weekend: A commentary over a crappy flash cartoon made for Something Awful’s “Let’s Play with Newgrounds!” thread. Expect a few more of these in the future, including a few commentaries over a few crappy flash games as well.

Commentary by Habermann and innerlogic

Shed a tear for the original animation, and for all those who have passed since it passed the Newgrounds Portal.

Apparently, this short film, like many we have commented on in the past, was done “for school”. From what I can gather, the project was supposed to have something to do with cyberbullying, but if you watched this wretched shit without reading the title first, would you know that was the subject matter?

Commentary by Habermann

Schedule your hot date tonight for after you’ve seen this original video. It may save your life.

Have any of you guys ever played Darkest of Days? It’s this first-person shooter where you go back in time to fight in the Civil War and World War I, and bring futuristic weapons back with you. It’s actually a pretty fun little romp through space and time, if not a bit on the short side. This anachronistic video adventure is pretty much like that game, minus the fun and the quality.

Commentary by Habermann and Hbomb

Affix your bayonet, ready your musket, and charge the original video with the fury of a thousand southerners scorned!